40. MARRIED LIFE: We have a lot of marriage
problems in America. This affects our children, and all of society, why? What
we really need to start doing, is to teach “Married Living” as classes in High
School, talking honestly to our young people about what to expect as
obligations of “each” in marriage. Honest discussion about raising children.
Honest discussion about Budget in the marriage.
Unless you are one of the
wealthy citizens who can spend Millions on toys, a budget in marriage is most
important to start with. For both partners agreeing on expenses beyond basic
expenses, housing, food, utilities, and transportation needed to gain
employment. AS Partners.
Medical care must be part of
the budget, if not employee provided, and then your budget must cover
this as necessary, before you buy that car you really want, or TV or other
luxuries.
The government does not owe
you your basic needs, the government does not owe you anything other than a
secure border, a safe neighborhood, and to protect you from the New World
Order, that will make all of us poor.
Most young people have the
belief that Romance is all that’s needed to get married. The older we get the
more we realize how false that is. The irresponsible life we may lead as a
single person, can not continue in marriage, when you make a commitment to get
married, means a partnership, that each of you build together, that makes being
together, a hopefully better life in the long run.
Marriage is a hard adjustment, when “arguing, and financial conditions”
destroys love; marriage, and children suffer. Some families give their children
some answers before marriage; but all too often this isn’t done, “or wanted” by
our young people.
If there isn’t family help when
babies arrive, that very stressful condition overwhelms our young people. We
really must start to help these young people handle real life problems. Let me
make this statement, Children need a family, a father and mother, children born
to couples that are committed to the relationship. Family is essential to a
stable home, children raised in a home with only one parent grow up believing
that the opposite sex partner is not needed, or respected. Remember as a single
parent, every negative statement you make about the opposite sex in the
presence of your child, affects the attitude your child will have when they
become adults looking for a partner to share life with. Do you put down the
opposite sex? Were you a good example to begin with? Our nation will survive
best with committed relationship families.
What we really have, are many people married, who are not in LOVE. Lets face it folks, we think we are in love, and passionately want the closeness of the opposite sex in our lives, but when realism sinks in, we know deep down that we are not unconditionally in love.
We stay married out of
guilt, and the need to have someone close, but then resent many obligations
that marriage requires. This only leads to problems as we finally get the
children raised and out of the house, then the marriage ends, as we each think
a better life is out there somewhere. It usually isn’t, but we don’t know that
until we try for that better life, and find we usually had it all along. We
just have great expectations, been conditioned to believe we deserve better,
and that if only we had the “right” spouse, or more money, things would be
wonderful. Good Luck.
Here again we need full employment, at a
wage that enables families to survive, not many single persons earn enough to
support a family in a decent life style, that they want, and can’t afford.
I would hope that membership in a church “of your choosing”
might help in teaching our citizens more about getting along with each other.
It’s wonderful to have love; we need more love in our lives. Marriage is not a
50/50 proposition; each partner must give 90%.
Unfortunately there are a lot of married couples that are not
happy, and only stay together for the children, or financial reasons. Ask some
of your friends in total confidence, just how happy they are.
We Americans need help to find a happier life, and to live with what we can’t
change. The best way to start on that is for each of us to have employment, with
a living wage, that is only possible with a good education to start with. So
much we want to do in life depends upon that education that I keep harping
about, if we don’t build a good start in life; it follows that we don’t achieve
our desired goals. So we need to start at an early age, to plan, so we can
enjoy adult life, with a partner if we so choose, that we love and respect.
We are not all going to be rich, but at what level are we going
to be happy? Most of us want what we call a middle class life style. What is
middle class? Usually to afford a home, in a neighborhood that is safe, with
decent furnishings, enough food for the family to not go hungry, transportation
needed to get to work, to enjoy a bit of vacation time each year, to have security,
and each of us have to have a budget, to pay the essentials in life, and resist
getting in debt that we can’t get out of. Debt drives down our standard of
living. Items purchased, that put you in debt, are not essential, if it
destroys your life happiness. Marriage only can survive with respect for each
other.
Don’t cheat, when you say,
“till death do us part”, work on it, and mean it.
Will America ever have
Middle Class citizens again, not likely for the next 20 years, unless we save
America NOW.